A wife decides to surprise her husband, Dave, by taking him to a s.t.r.ip club for his birthday.
As they approach the entrance, the doorman greets them with a friendly, “Hey, Dave! How’s it going?”
Dave’s wife raises an eyebrow and asks, “Have you been here before?”
“Oh no,” Dave quickly replies. “He’s on my bowling team.”
Once inside, they take a seat, and a waitress walks over with a Budweiser in hand. “Here’s your usual, Dave,” she says with a smile.
Now even more suspicious, his wife demands, “How does she know what you drink?”
“She’s in the Ladies’ Bowling League, honey. We share lanes sometimes,” Dave explains.
Just then, a s.t.r.ipper struts up to their table, wraps her arms around Dave, and purrs, “Hey, Davey! Ready for your usual table dance, big boy?”
That’s the last straw. His wife grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave rushes after her and sees her getting into a cab. He jumps in beside her before she can slam the door.
Desperately, he tries to explain that the s.t.r.ipper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife isn’t buying it. She lets loose, shouting and calling him every name she can think of.
The cab driver glances over his shoulder and says, “Damn, Dave, you really picked the wrong night to bring the wife.”
Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle and took their seats—one by the window, the other in the middle.
Just before takeoff, an attorney boarded and took the aisle seat next to them.
Settling in, the attorney kicked off his shoes and wiggled his toes when the physician by the window said, “I think I’ll get up and grab a Coke.”
“No problem,” the attorney offered. “I’ll get it for you.”
As soon as he left, one of the physicians picked up the attorney’s shoe and spat in it.
When the attorney returned with the Coke, the other physician said, “That looks good—I think I’ll have one too.”
Again, the attorney kindly went to fetch it. While he was gone, the second physician picked up the other shoe and spat in it as well.
When the attorney returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. But as the plane landed, the attorney slipped his feet into his shoes and immediately realized what had happened.
Shaking his head, he sighed, “How long must this war between our professions continue? This animosity… this bitterness… this spitting in shoes and p.i.ssing in Cokes?”
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